What a poor world with these gurus

I have been a meditator for years. I was one of those who talks about energy, about happiness from our heart, about a peaceful lifestyle.

Oh gosh, how many mantras, how many theories, ideas, explanations about what I should do to switch off my mind.

"You have to give away your desires, you must stop any research, any thought, you must set aside your ego, your beliefs,.. With a simple word: yourself".

I should live in here and now and anything else. No past, no future.

Fine. Then, there is the Life.

Every masters I have had were so good with words but when somebody tried to asks fir further information, well, the same answer: your way is still long, you have to figure out, now you can't understand, maybe one day". And meanwhile pay a lot for mediation/therhapist classes or for praying. 

Shut up and clean your mind.

Even if there are a lot of ways everyone refers to only one: buddhism. 

Thousands years ago one guy decided to  stop with his own life and went under a tree just to meditate. And he become the first enlighted man in the history. 

Fine, amazing. But...

What if he had a wife? And what if she was ill?

To find yourself you must have the courage to change. Jesus told: "I'm here to divide youngers from their parenthood".

Fine, but what if I'm a father of one or more sons ? And of I'm unemployed?

And what if I'm a company owner but my customers don't pay me because of crises? Therefore, I can't pay my employees' salaries. And they couldn't pay the food for their families. 

Am so on.

What should I do? Easy. You come first, others come after.

Because if you are fine, everybody will be fine. Therefore everything refers to myself.

Others? Fuck them, I must think only of me, I must be enlightened, I must find my peacefullness and if others want to stay fine, you know, give a guru's address who can help them.

At last I remember what Freud wrote: "every human actions is decided by a selfish mind, every human being is selfish. The most charity action is moved by a selfish man, even if he's convicted is a charity man".

Well, Freud was attacked for these words but he has been the only one enlightened man in history.

Charity? It's only one action to ferl yourself more comfortable. And others? Yes but they come later... 

If you chamge everything changes around you.... Meanwhile (you change) fuck them.

What a poor world that one need this kind of gurus...